Driving along in my yellow mini on the way back from town to my house I was pondering on the illness of my son. He had been cured we thought and now it was back with a vengeance. It had shown itself by appearing above the clavicle so now we knew that we would be thrown back into radiation or worse and all the surrounding effects.
So at this stage of events I was, yet again, beside myself with fear. With fear of what to do and how to do it and, above all, how to get complete healing. Is it not a very deep and natural thing for a Mother to want her child to be cured and happy and strong and well? Yes it is. And all of my attempts hithertoe had not succeeded then; all my endeavours, trials and praying and going to multiple practitioners of various disciplines – we had tried everything on earth, or so I thought. We were long not over this period but I did not know this at this time.
I remember the sunny, clement day and looking out of the window at the trees and the countryside not caring that it was beautiful because my world was not. There I was voicing these concerns whilst driving– as you do – speaking out loud to the heavens that for God’s sake, what to do next? Why was this thing coming back now? Why had it not gone? Feeling that fear which grips the very base of the stomach and that permeating angst of being thrown into helplessness with time running out was with me and I wrestled back and forth on the steering wheel and, using my motion to deliver the crescendo I was building up to I shouted out words to the effect of :”Look, here, please God help us and for goodness sakes why has it come back to my son? What more can I do? What is this thing that keeps striking at him? I know that I am not perfect and a sinner and all of that waffle but for goodness sakes he cannot take anymore. Let ME take on this burden, this illness because I AM STRONG ENOUGH TO FIGHT THIS SO GIVE IT TO ME!”. . And then I got a huge thwack on my right clavicle; like someone Read the rest of this entry »
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Well, they have no right here do they?
They are taking our jobs, our social security, our houses, our
schools, our communities.
They cause us all the problems of a country which is too full: crime,
lack of resources.
If they were not here we wouldn’t have any problems. They are to blame.
Well, the thing is that we are not seeing clearly.
We are looking for someone to blame for the hurt and anger inside of
us, of you, of me.
The hurt and anger inside comes from our conditioning, our prejudices.
Therefore, we cannot see clearly and we cannot understand.
People will move, migrate to another place if they believe that they
can achieve a better quality of life for themselves and their
families. They are merely seeking to improve their lot. As we do, we
seek to improve our lot.
Occidental values mean that we expect a high standard of living,
by earning a lot of money and paying lower taxes.
We want this high standard of living so the Home Office and the
Foreign Office must act accordingly or we will not vote “them” in
again.
The Home Office must flex its muscles and put emphasis on excluding immigrants.
The Foreign Office must make sure that we get the trade and industry
needed to support our lifestyles. To do this, national interest takes
precedence over environmental issues and over the injustices enacted
on the indigenous peoples of other countries.
So the Foreign Office declares war on a people whose resources or land
is required; there is death, destruction, devastation, dissidents and
then there are lots of refugees.
Some of whom become immigrants.
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There is the greatest of difficulties for me to understand myself.
I am full of contradictions.
My Mother said once that I was “…so contrary” when I was a small child.
I never forgot this even though I did not then understand.
Now I know that she is right and it has taken me most of my life to figure this one out.
I am a person of extremes.
All or nothing.
Nothing in between.
No indifference to passionate witness even if I can now be indifferent to where my path leads.
I believe in heady beauty, caring, soulfulness, journeying, seeking and casting out the blockages on the way. Read the rest of this entry »
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Can we ever really understand The Lord’s Prayer? The truth is that we do not know what truth is so how can we know what foregiveness is? The Way forward is what then?
Perhaps the Power of the Not Quite There Yet (towards Eckhart Toll’s “The Power of Now” that is) will do - for now?
Sometimes we feel and know that we are behaving in a way that is not true. Then we feel guilty so perhaps our conscience is telling us this and that is at least a power in itself. Not perfect and not in “the now”, but a start maybe. Read the rest of this entry »
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Let not prejudice blind us to truth and universal law.
Might we come back and be that which we have hated? So that then we will understand (literally stand under) that hate and that prejudice.
Can we let it all go? Give it up? Can we bid it farewell and give it to the light of Christ or the universe or whichever spiritual guidance you follow? Can it be taken away from us?
Then it could be finished couldn’t it?
(© 2008 Eileen Baker)
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